Suffering is magnified when we avoid confronting the issue. It is our way at self-protection. We want to control it. We push it back, hoping it will resolve on it own, or go away.
And, then, the light goes on. I need help. I need to sort this out in my mind. Facing the issue is a form of surrender. Surrender to self.
Here is a scenario: As, you prepare to see your therapist, you contemplate.
How much of the truth will I allow myself to disclose or will this person allow me the space to disclose?” A wave of fear and anxiety runs through your body as you approach the encounter. There is a sense of safety in my suffering, you think. How will it feel without the pain? Is it possible to not suffer? Is the therapist suffering? How will this person understand how deep my suffering is? I’m an expert at this suffering. No one knows this suffering as I do.
Meditate
You walk into the therapist office. You are asked to sit in silent meditation for 3 minutes before you start. This is painful. My mind is racing. I have so much to say. This is a waste of time. I am angry. I don’t want to pay for this.
Breathe
I am told to breath? Ok, This is dumb. But wait, I feel better now. Yes, breathing. I forgot to breathe.
Be Present
You are told to let the thoughts that you speak flow out the window. I am resisting this. I am in pain. She says, “Do not resist, embrace the pain, and empty your mind.” I am becoming calm. I am here, with this person. I am present.
Our time is up. I realize that I was using my pain and “ issues” to distract me from being present. WOW. I am distracting my attention from the present moment.
My pain is less. I feel peace.